There comes a time in every cubicle drone’s career when they’re faced with the ultimate question: admit you have no idea what the hell your boss just asked you to do, or pray to the Office Gods and hope it all goes away. The former means looking completely incompetent at your job, the latter means taking on something that you pretty much know you’re going to flub. It’s essentially like eating at a Cracker Barrel or marrying a Kardashian Sister: a lose-lose situation.

Having been in a couple of these situations ourselves over the years, we thought it’d make a great topic for this week’s HUMAN/NATURE work cartoon.

So the next time you’re faced with the Kobayashi Maru of white collar drudgery, follow the advice from this week’s comic and say absolutely nothing. If that doesn’t work,  just fake a brain aneurism in front of your boss and call it a day.

Thanks for reading!

-Pol & Adam

With its bad lighting, forced dress code and general air of corporate drudgery, the office is hardly the place for cubicle drones to look their best. Yet in every office there’s that one employee who somehow manages to remain ridiculously good looking despite wearing discount GAP attire and being crammed into an orthopedic swivel chair.

It’s kind of hard not to hate these people. They invariably end up getting a fair amount of attention from the opposite sex, not to mention making the rest of their co-workers look like greasy, unwashed troglodytes. It’s even worse if they actually have a personality that matches their shiny white teeth and even shinier shampoo commercial-style hair.

As two people who have felt the bitter sting of jealousy towards our more attractive co-workers (we’ve both been described charitably as “hot messes” and “wads of reheated man casserole”), we thought the office hunk/hottie would make a great topic for this week’s HUMAN/NATURE work cartoon.

Just remember that real beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Although in some people’s case, it does kind of help if the beholder squints their eye just a little bit.

Thanks for reading!

-Pol & Adam

Let’s face it, the office refrigerator is a Pandora’s ice box of horrors: once you open it, you can’t unsmell what’s been let loose. Sadly, most company fridges are cleaned out once every six millennia, resulting in a minefield of toxic Tupperware, salmonella sandwiches and carcinogenic casseroles. You put your freshly made lunch bag inside and it comes out reeking worse than John Madden’s jock strap. Is it any wonder that most office drones prefer eating out?

As two people who’ve dealt with our fair share of feculent fridges in the workplace, we thought it would make a pungently appropriate topic for this week’s HUMAN/NATURE work cartoon. We suggest that you avoid the company fridge like the plague (which incidentally, you’ll probably get if you leave something in there for too long).

So do yourself a favor and just get rid of the food you aren’t going to eat. Because when that leftover tuna surprise you stuck in the fridge last week ends up mutating and unleashing a zombie apocalypse, don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Thanks for reading!

-Pol & Adam

If the National Lampoon’s Vacation films have taught us anything, it’s that holidays are hilarious romps that involve hijinx, good times and taking ‘er easy (usually set to some awesome 80s music). In reality, vacations are a fantastic way to contract third degree sunburns, food poisoning, Hepatitis B and possibly some kind of tropical parasite that swims up your urethra and lays eggs in your brainstem.

Of course, that doesn’t mean that today’s office schlubs don’t dream about vacations with every fiber of their cubicle-dwelling being. I mean let’s face it, even a crappy vacation still beats working for a living. Which is why holidays are often viewed as the light at the end of the corporate drudgery tunnel.

That being said, the next best thing to actually taking a vacation is having your boss take off for a little R&R. It’s a chance for those lower down in the company food chain to take a break from the daily poop shoveling and wallow in sweet, sweet slackerdom in the comfort of their own desks.

Having taken our fair share of vacations over the years (and seen our fair share of horrible bosses take off on vacations of their own) we thought it would make a great topic for this week’s HUMAN/NATURE work cartoon.

So if you are one of the lucky few about to leave the 9 to 5 rat race behind, just remember those of us still plugging away at our computers. Also, you might want to consider wearing an extra tight pair of Speedos. Because nothing ruins a vacation quite like tropical urethra parasites.

Thanks for reading!

-Pol & Adam

Ah, the Spaz Out. Every office has one – those rare, ragey individuals who lose their cool faster than Mel Gibson on a Red Bull and Two and a Half Men bender. With their hair trigger tempers and explosive personalities, the Office Spaz Out has, sadly, become a daily reality for many cubicle drones.

There are two approaches to dealing with a Spaz Out: a.) Blast them in the face with a dose of Care Bear-style positivity (Spaz Outs hate happy people) or b.) Soothe them with an interpretive dance set to an Enya album.

Having dealt with our fair share of Spaz Outs over the years, we thought it would make a great topic for this week’s HUMAN/NATURE work cartoon. Our advice is to approach a Spaz Out the same way you would an irate 800 lbs. gorilla: very, very carefully.

Thanks for reading!

-Pol & Adam

These days you can’t chuck a Poké Ball down the street without hitting someone in the head reading Manga. The popular Japanese comic book art form is everywhere in North America, giving us giant robots, adorable talking animals and scantily clad magical school girls. Yes, it seems everyone is catching manga fever (which incidentally, is a little bit like SARs, with additional side effects that include developing comically large eyes, being able to quote poorly translated episodes of Sailor Moon ad nauseum, and nausea).

A long time ago, people believed in this thing called “manners” which were all about – and bear with us here because this is where it gets strange – treating other people with respect (which as we all know was something invented by Aretha Franklin in 1967). You wouldn’t for example, walk into a crowded room and let loose an explosively pungent fart. And when someone was speaking, you’d make eye contact, nod your head and – as crazy as it sounds – actually engage them in vocal conversation!

Then one day a team of NASA engineers working in the fledgling field of “doucheonomics” invented the smartphone and manners were pretty much texted out of existence.

Today, you can find people texting while they’re eating, driving, working, watching a movie, SCUBA diving and fighting crime. It’s essentially taken both manners and face-to-face human interaction completely out of the equation. The sad fact is people would often rather text than have a meaningful conversation with someone sitting right in front of them.

Having been the victims (and perpetrators) of texting crimes on more than a few occasions, we thought it would make an excellent subject for this week’s HUMAN/NATURE work cartoon. We’d also like to make a solemn pledge here and now to try and text less and talk more with the people we really care about. It’s time to textorcize those smartphone demons back to the autocorrecting Hell from whence they came!

Thanks for reading!

-Pol & Adam

The internet can be an awful place. Just click open a browser and you’ll discover an online world infested with trolls, spammers and griefers (to name just a few of the entries from the Internet Monsters Manual). It’s a place where decency has been replaced by Facebook photos of someone’s ass cleavage, and where proper grammar has been taken out and beaten to death by the LOLCats (you can haz cheeseburgers and a dislocated spinez!). Yes, there truly is nowhere you can hide from the gushing bit-torrent of raw binary sewage.

Even worse, SPAM – once a known only as a delicious meat-wad taken from some sort of animal – has now become synonymous with junk mail. As a result, each day is a never ending battle between your email inbox and a horde of electronic marketers trying to scam you.

Of course, the people that suffer the most are the countless recently deposed Nigerian defense ministers who really are trying to give away their hard earned millions. And let’s not forget the hardworking Viagra and Rolex salesmen who beat the pavement every day only to have their good names tarnished by a few bad digital seeds.

Having both been on the receiving end of our fair share of SPAM over the years, we thought it would make a great topic for this week’s HUMAN/NATURE work cartoon. It’s time to stand up and say: stick it up your junk mail filters, online marketers! Let’s stop the madness and ensure that for future generations, SPAM is some kind of rubbery meat-based product you smear on crackers, not something trying to sell you pills to make your junk bigger.

Thanks for reading!

-Pol & Adam

Working for a living is already a fairly turdtacular experience. But sometimes even just getting to the office can be a pain in the bathing suit area. There are the pot holes, the traffic jams and – if you’re unlucky enough to take public transit – being stuck in what’s essentially a mobile fart box. There is of course, always the option to cycle to work – so long as you don’t mind dealing with Grand Theft Auto-style road rage and the chance of becoming a cyclist pâté on the bottom of someone’s bumper.

Which is why for a lot of people, car pooling has become a viable way to make the soul crushing commute to work. It’s a chance to share the morning misery with your fellow wage slaves, not to mention being a great way to keep that saucy old minx Mother Nature from huffing too many CO2 fumes.

Having both car pooled to work over the years, we thought it would make a great topic for this week’s HUMAN/NATURE work cartoon. Just remember to stay safe, no matter how you carry out your daily commute. Because on the great highway of life, no one wants end up as road kill.

Thanks for reading!

-Pol & Adam

Technology is a fickle mistress. One day you’re feeding punchcards into a computer the size of a Volkswagon, the next you’re surfing the information super highway on a laptop that can play 8 million YouTube cat videos per second.

Of course, not every new technological advancement is embraced with open arms. Take for instance Microsoft’s new Windows 8 operating system. The response from consumers so far has been a resounding “meh.” Part of the problem is the slightly confusing interface and a Start button that’s more difficult to find than Where’s Waldo and the Predator combined. The end result is that Windows 8 may just end up being known as the Crystal Pepsi of operating systems.

All that to say, we thought Windows 8 would make a juicy subject for this week’s HUMAN/NATURE work cartoon. Change can be a good thing. But not always. In fact, before we leave you, here’s an interesting little tidbit of future history: what OS will Skynet use when it inevitably gains sentience and unleashes a robotic Judgment Day upon all mankind? Yup, you guessed it: Windows 8. Consider yourself warned.

Thanks for reading!

-Adam & Pol