100,000 years ago, our primitive ancestors spent their days running through the verdant pre-industrial forest, eating woolly mammoth jerky and collecting the sabertooth tiger pelts needed to create Raquel Welch-style fur bikinis.
Today, we spend our days hunched over keyboards, gorging on vending machine corn chips and trying to prevent our tracheas from collapsing under the weight of our own neck lard. Is it any wonder some of us have the spinal curvature of a young Quasimodo?
That’s why in the year 1976, Thomas P. Ergonom invented a concoction of puréed snake genitals and jellyfish eggs which he called “Spine Straightening Tonic.” When that failed to sell, he created the field of Ergonomics as a way of encouraging proper posture through overpriced office furniture (like the new IKEA Flarkensplööge ergonomic recliner and industrial buttocks-massager, a steal at only $487.00 plus tax!).
As chronic back pain sufferers and cubicle dwellers ourselves, we both know the importance of a good office chair (it’s either that or relying on a steady regiment of Robaxacet gummi bear smoothies). So for this week’s comic we wanted to share our pain. After all, just because you work in an office doesn’t mean you have to abuse your vertebrae.
So straighten up and treat your spinal column like the classy lady she is. And remember: lower lumbar support is a privilege, not a right.
Thanks for reading!
-Pol & Adam
Great!!! It looks like my chair but after seeing this I’m glad I didn’t opt for the spinal crack feature.